Dark Sides
by miss-stupid-sunshine
Summary: Clintasha one shot, based on Kelly Clarkson song "Dark Side." It's not too good, I didn't get to use spell check either, sorry.


The training room was empty. Natasha took this as an answer to her question,where can I go to be alone?The Avenger's brand new mansion was always busy with something going on, and on this day, Natasha just needed space.

Her head felt like it was spinning on her shoulders, it was all getting to be too much. Natasha's life was slowly disintergrating around her. Loki had been right. She had too much red. Her life, her past, her memories were scarlett. No matter how hard she tried, how hard she scrubbed away at her ledger, the red had stained it permantely.

Everyone at SHIELD felt like that was another life for Natasha, like it was a different person, and distant memories. But for Natasha it wasn't. It was all crystal clear in her head, making those decisions, killing those people, every bad choice she had ever made.

One thing she was thankful for however, was Clint. He wasn't like everyone else, and he didn't just pretend that all those awful things she did never happened, but he stayed beside her in spite of that. On their last misson, in Budapest, they'd spent the night together and admitted their feelings for each other. They were together now, but not officially. Natasha didn't like labels.

They hadn't spoken much since the incident with Loki, both of their minds wrapped up in truths Loki had revealed. Natasha knew they had to see each other soon, but she was scared. Loki had been inside Clint's mind. What if he had made him see every detail Clint over looked, of what a monster she was. What if he had now realised he couldn't be with her, and was avoiding her because of that? Her mind ravelled on, with "what if's?" and reasons for Clint to not want her anymore.

Natasha had been exactly where Clint knew she would; the empty training room. She wasn't working out or training, just sitting with her knees up on the windowsil. She looked thoughtful, but troubled too, her eyebrows furrowed and lips pressed together. She let out a groan and pushed her head to her knees. Clint walked sliently into the room, and leaned against a beam in the room.

"Hi." She said quietly without looking up. She always knew when someone was trying sneak up on her, and with their line of work, it came in incredibly handy.

"Hey." He replied, and walked up to the other side of the massive window that over looked the city. He gave her legs a nugde, signalling for her to move up so he could sit down. After pushing himself up, he sat with his legs dangling of the sides. He didn't look out the window, but he could hear the rain pittering against it. Natasha still didn't look at him.

"You haven't spoken to me." She said, turning to look at him slightly, red locks falling infront of her face. It wasn't said accusingly, it was just stating a fact.

"I've had a lot on my mind." He apologised. He should have spoken to her sooner, but having Loki inside his mind had put a strain on him lately.

"I know you have." She said closing her eyes. "And it's okay, I understand. I hope we can still be partners." She got of of the windowsil and started walking away, arms wrapped around herself looking down. For the first time in Clint's memory, she looked almost vunerable. Clint eyes widened stunned.

He leaped off of his seat and stumbled after her. "Natasha wait up!" He called, grabbing her arm. "What the hell are you talking about?" He questioned her confused.

"I know you don't wanna do this 'thing' we've been doing anymore, and that's okay with me. I mean, you have your reasons and they're perfectly valid. I just, really wanna still be friends .. I mean partners…" He voice trailed off at the end, and her eyes started welling up. _Natasha_, she thought, _pull yourself together, don't you dare cry._

_"_Tasha, what the hell? I couldn't not be with you, you're the only thing keeping sane right now!" He laughed slightly, wrapping his own arms around her now. Then her words rang in his head. "Why would I not want to be with you?"

_Because I'm a monster. Because I've done so many bad things. Because I don't deserve you._ "Because of my past." She said simply. She knew Clint would understand what she meant. "Loki knew everything, siad you told him. I don't mind, you couldn't help it. But, what else did he make you think? He said I was a monster. He was right…" She started sobbing quietly at the end.

Clint pressed her head into his shoulder and held her tightly, feeling her sobbs rack through her body. "You are not a monster. We've all made bad mistakes, you know mine. We all have dark side to us, every single person."

She looked up at him, and closed her eyes. "Do you love me?" She asked, opening her eyes again once she had forced the words out of her mouth.

"More than you could imagine." He said, kissing her head, and looking into her warm eyes.

"Dark side and all?" She asked again, smiling, though tears were still fresh in her eyes.

"Dark side and all." He confirmed, pressing his lips against hers, lingering there for a few seconds. After a moment they broke apart, and Natasha began wiping her eyes.

"I bet I look like such an idiot, crying right now." She gave a shaky laugh and turned around. She smiled still though.

"Never." Clint mumbled, and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, guiding her from the room, laughing with her.


End file.
